Not doing that well lately. Feel like I exhausted myself on new years eve. Doing amphetamines was not a smart thing to do... Still need some time to recover myself. Seem like it affects my "inner game", bullshit talk, my self esteem is low.
I had a certain degree of success and I just let it slip instead of capitalizing the chance. Okay, not a big deal. Yesterday I opened few sets, all blow outs. Today I opened just one... No intent in me.
It's a massive diffrence compared to Zagreb sarging a week ago... Need to do something about myself. I feel drained and it seems like multiple stuff are draining me.
Need to empower myself in the days to come in order to get back on track... I guess I shoulnd't be skipping my field reports or dairy or whatever bullshit name we give to it. Need to keep up with myself... Today's gym actually helped.
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Acting trough my intentions... For the first time I feel like a fucking player inside out. Saw the milf for the second time, we went for cofee. Before makeout, we fluff talk. I escalate sexual tension, I am really proud how I did this.
I know that I am in control. I don't have the need to go for kiss, because I know it's bound to happen, but also I know it's anticipation is something that is highly sexual. I am making it clear it's bound to happen, but I am not pulling the trigger. At some point, she starts talking about us, and all the reasons why it's not gonna work... She says that we shouldn't be seeing each other again, because she doesn't want to hurt my feelings, because "nothing's gonna happen". I say I agree if that's what keeps her happy, but why do you care about my feelings? And than:
"Ohhhhh, you thought that I am one of those guys!" - I grab her for the shoulder and start crying on the shoulder pretending that I am chode, and cry about how she left me
She starts laughing her ass off. It's on! I go in for the kiss. It's highly erotic and I like how she is kissing. I can smell pussy from that kiss...
And than, after that I am about to the, what was the initial plan for the night. To try the pull... My keyboard is dying... Need to swap batteries...
I know that I am in control. I don't have the need to go for kiss, because I know it's bound to happen, but also I know it's anticipation is something that is highly sexual. I am making it clear it's bound to happen, but I am not pulling the trigger. At some point, she starts talking about us, and all the reasons why it's not gonna work... She says that we shouldn't be seeing each other again, because she doesn't want to hurt my feelings, because "nothing's gonna happen". I say I agree if that's what keeps her happy, but why do you care about my feelings? And than:
"Ohhhhh, you thought that I am one of those guys!" - I grab her for the shoulder and start crying on the shoulder pretending that I am chode, and cry about how she left me
She starts laughing her ass off. It's on! I go in for the kiss. It's highly erotic and I like how she is kissing. I can smell pussy from that kiss...
And than, after that I am about to the, what was the initial plan for the night. To try the pull... My keyboard is dying... Need to swap batteries...
Damn, forgot to finish my pull attempt...
Anyway, so we're talking. I question her logistics and call her to drop by to my place. "So are you up to sleeping outside of your bed tonight?" And she starts thinking about it and how her mom would flame her for going to someone else's flat. I plow it a little bit I can sense she's into it, but I didn't want to pursue it hard and be needy about it. So I stop it and I do it cool, pretty proud of myself. She's like I can't I can't! And I say: "Okay, if YOUR MOM DOESN'T LET YOU, than it's cool!" and put on a smirk on my face She laughs as sick, because she's 18 years older than me, and I am busting her balls about her mom. She says that she would like to drop by, the difference between this moment I asked her to drop by to my place and before that moment, is that now she's not thinking about "not talking with me anymore" after that "date"...
I escort her home and we make out on the way there.
Beside that I called out my ex, she was flattering me on my cock. Felt damn good, but I know she's gaming me. Asking her out to drop by to my place for some raw sex...
Anyway, so we're talking. I question her logistics and call her to drop by to my place. "So are you up to sleeping outside of your bed tonight?" And she starts thinking about it and how her mom would flame her for going to someone else's flat. I plow it a little bit I can sense she's into it, but I didn't want to pursue it hard and be needy about it. So I stop it and I do it cool, pretty proud of myself. She's like I can't I can't! And I say: "Okay, if YOUR MOM DOESN'T LET YOU, than it's cool!" and put on a smirk on my face
She laughs as sick, because she's 18 years older than me, and I am busting her balls about her mom. She says that she would like to drop by, the difference between this moment I asked her to drop by to my place and before that moment, is that now she's not thinking about "not talking with me anymore" after that "date"...I escort her home and we make out on the way there.
Beside that I called out my ex, she was flattering me on my cock. Felt damn good, but I know she's gaming me. Asking her out to drop by to my place for some raw sex...
