Lately I spend a lot of time in front of computer. I am starting my own business so I didn't devote myself to the game like I used to... But seems that all the past effort have left a permanent mark on me and my energy.
I am aspiring to become a Dom, but that doesn't mean that I am giivng up on my hunting.
It was in caffee she was sitting with her company and I was with mine. We were looking at each other, she made sure I checked every part of her body. Not bad, she invests in herself.
I leave for the bathroom, guess who follows... My first sentence was asking her # ... I got it. But there is tension, I can feel it in the air, I embrace it and start to move slowly toward her and she says: "Not yet". I am mad at myself, because I didn't finish it, but... It felt right and it wouldn't be my first time to kiss the girl, the moment I meet her, without almost any words...
I am constantly in the flirt, but ain't pursuing chicks... I ain't chasin`, oh no... My time now is really valuable... Scarce... I text her while we seat on separate tables and tell her to make some time for me tonight. She is leaving and says "Aufidersen", good bye on German, kinda rare to hear that...
Than she replies to my text, saying that she can't come tonight...
Than I mindfucked myself, because I became greedy on new pussy. I am literally fucking every day, a couple of times. My bitches show respect, but my ego is playing small games with me as usual... Guess I will have to get used to that, but I am gonna push limits day by day... Growth... You will always mind fuck yourself, until you completely libarate yourself from bullshit that society serves us and programs us... It's a long process...
I made loads of rules and terms for them to obey and I am not bending them a single notch. They are talking to me in plural* *explanation - we use plural when adressing single person, when he is of great importance or an elder. Don't know if you have something like that on English... But it's such a turn on, when someone who's 18 years older than you, speaks to you, like to it's superior, well it's actually true, just need to get used to it and start breathing like a fucking Dom, because that is what I am, and not remain shocked about it.
Ego is my worst enemy. I am bending it to my own will. I guess tons of people don't even recognize when their ego is fucking with them. And when society rules are clouding our judgment and our streghts.
I am womitting on the sight of faggotry and pussyfication of todays men. I see game everywhere, and most of the time I am laughing. Becoming a player comes with it's price. You are in relationships, but somewhere down there in your heart, you know you are by yourself. And there is emotional side of me that wants security, but that is kinda bullshit when you look at it on rational perspective.
True man doesn't need security in a woman, he needs pussy, he provides his own security. I believe that, when I become selfsustaining (e.g stop taking money from parents), my confidence will grow and so will my opportuinites and freedoms.
I just need to mention as well that I am really mad at myself, becuase I stopped going to the gym. I ain't gonna pay for the gym in the future also, but I am gonna make a mini workout place in my own house. Gonna invest into that, and gonna follow P90X program. Nutrition AND workouts...
Till next time... Stay true to the game, and game will stay true to you!
